Dieters Beware

So to kick this one off, I will come clean and tell you all that this is by no means an orrigional creation, I have mearly tweaked a time honored classic to suit my needs.

You will need:

*1 hard boiled and peeled egg per person
*Roughly 3 ounces of bulk spicy breakfast sausage per egg
*1/2 half cup Panko (asian style) breadcrumbs per

And for the dipping pleasure of all
(and again all amounts are per portion)
*3 Tbs Dijon Mustard
*2 tsp dry mustard powder
*1 Tbs honey

Now for those health nuts out there, I firmly suggest either fasting for 24 hours to accommodate this tasty treat into your diet, are getting good and liquored up before hand so you can enjoy it, then pretend the next day that you drank to much to remember breaking your diet.

To begin:

• Cut yourself off a piece of plastic wrap about the same length as it is wide.
• Lightly spray the wrap with non stick spray (or for those especially daring folks out there go for the good old fashioned butter. Frank you are not allowed to partake in this method as I am fairly sure that your wife would not allow such a tasty consumption of cholesterol.)

Onto said pseudo slip and slide press your sausage fairly flat maintaining a consistent thickness. (Spoiler Alert)Were shooting for enough surface area to cover the aforementioned egg.

• Now place your egg smack dab in the center and roll one side of the sausage over, gently peeling back the edge of the plastic as if you were sneaking out of a strange bed at 4 in the morning.
• Wrap the other side of the sausage over the top, and bring back the first piece of plastic.
• Twist the little ball of breakfast love at the ends, not unlike trying to re wrap a peice of hard candy.
• With goo ball in hand firmly pack the sausage around the egg
• Unwrap set aside and repeat as necessary.
  

Now hopefully you are standing next to what should look like a plate full of easter eggs at the Dommer House. One at a time roll the meat wads in the bread crumbs pressing lightly to help ensure coating.

Really, it takes you this long. I don't have all day people... Hurry it along.

There, was that so hard. Now, ready yourself a skillet at least 2 inches deep, and filled to about 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch with your prefered frying medium. (Me? Why how kind of you to ask. Given my strict dietary regimn, and picky eating habbits, I prefer lard. Thats right, I said it.. LARD. But if you prefer something with no flavor and a hint of self loathing, go right ahead.)

Bring you cauldron up to about 350-375 degrees and plop in the first to coronaries. (If your especially upset with you signifigant other, go for the burning splash back of revenge.)

Move the grease bombs around fairly regularly ensuring even cooking (Because apparently raw pork is bad for you. Guess I'm the only one who gets a hankering for uncooked Ham and Cheese Hot Pockets.) We are shooting for that lovely shat of tan so popular within the corrections industry. Just a wee bit past golden brown, and right before cheap tequila. (Ooo cheap tequila... BRB, AFK.)

.........................................................Elapsed Time 15 Minutes...................................................................

K. Sorry bout that. Forgot I had a very pressing appointment with Mr. Pancho Villa. But I digress.

After the first two are nice and crispy, set them off to the side to cool on a platein a bowl laden heavilly with paper towels. (Don't be allarmed but there will be some grease seepage. It's alright it happens when food tastes good.)

Allow your pan to regain its former self.... 350-375 degrees in case you forgot....

Repeat as necessary.

Once all your eggs done and in the bowl, lets turn do the condiments.

Take your dijon mustard, mustard powder, and honey......... And mix 'em all together. Simple right. Good.

Now Gently (Because like a fool you listened to me and put all your eggs in one basket.) Cut them in half and arrange them on a plate with the container of goo in the center for mutual enjoyment.

Post Script.
Double fisting is not only allowed but suggested.... Much like yuppies at a Nordstroms sale, people are prone to pushing and shoving. Refer back to lesson 2 refering to shop safety glasses... And you thought I was kidding.